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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26776915">Threnody</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wankernumber9/pseuds/rocketchick'>rocketchick (wankernumber9)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Destroy ending I don't know her, F/F, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Citadel party, Post-Extended ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:35:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,087</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26776915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wankernumber9/pseuds/rocketchick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard's a hero, but not <i>the</i> hero. She didn't flip the switch to save the galaxy, even though that was her part to play. She didn't expect to live through the battle, and now that she has, the galaxy still looks to her to lead. </p><p>She's worn out, and has no idea how to be a soldier without a war.</p><p>Meanwhile, Jack finds herself not actively hating every fiber of Miranda's being, which is annoying and might make her hit something.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni, Jack | Subject Zero/Miranda Lawson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>2020 seems like the right time to indulge in some healing for my favorite characters, so I dug this out of my drafts folder. Hope you enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>London, 2186.</b>
</p><p>The battle was nearing its crescendo. Even in the concussive noise and dust, Miranda could sense the Reapers' new, wrathful desperation.</p><p>She ducked into the doorway of what used to be a pub to catch her breath, and eyed the Alliance shuttles dodging flak overhead. With a quick swipe at her omnitool, she tuned into frantic chatter about the Reaper destroyer at the trench being downed, and everyone near the beam <i>go now</i>.</p><p>A quick scan revealed the remains of an Alliance marine under the pub's bar. She scanned the young woman's dogtags and grabbed her spare thermal clips, then ran for the trench. </p><p>On her way she collided with wave after wave of Reaper forces, as they, too, converged on the Citadel beam. She ended up pinned amongst wreckage from Hammer's air assault, and as she watched the grenades arcing through the air towards her while her barriers were down, she briefly considered the notion that she might have fatally miscalculated.</p><p>A blur to her left swept in, accompanied by a familiar cry of fury and a glowing biotic charge that funneled the grenades' explosive heat harmlessly overhead.</p><p>In seconds, fatalistic defeat turned to momentary respite behind biotic fortification as Jack and her squad swarmed in defensive positions around her. Miranda used the opportunity to take out one last batch of husks with her pistol, then dropped back into cover to reload.</p><p>"Thanks for the assist," she panted to Jack, while she checked the mass of incoming enemy signals closing in on their location.</p><p>Jack only grunted in response, then tilted her chin toward the sensor readings. "Not looking good," she said, keeping her voice low so as not to alarm her team.</p><p>Miranda clenched her jaw and nodded in agreement. "We could make a run for the beam," she said.</p><p>"My guys can't move that fast. Think we make our stand here," Jack countered. "You can go if you want."</p><p>Miranda considered the terrain, and studied her odds. She could probably make it.</p><p>"I'm with you," she said, instead.</p><p>Jack looked at her for a beat, then nodded, aware of the choice Miranda was making. "Yeah, okay." She took a deep breath, and turned to bark orders at her squad, making sure their cover was optimized for the incoming enemies.</p><p>It occurred to Miranda to be rather morbidly satisfied as she peeked up from behind a crashed Alliance shuttle to watch the fitful scurry of encroaching Reapers. She'd made it to the ultimate battle of the ultimate war, on Earth, fighting alongside Jack, her contentious enemy turned ally, covering Shepard's back one last time.</p><p>If this was to be her end, she decided, it was a good one. It felt <i>right</i>. </p><p>"Glad you're here," Jack muttered. "<i>Not</i> thrilled we're about to get overrun by those things, but I am glad it was you we ran into in this shithole."</p><p>Miranda smiled. "Same," she replied.</p><p>Despite their youth and relative inexperience, Jack's squad was quiet and disciplined as they waited for their orders. Miranda watched the pings on her omnitool creep ever closer, and held her breath.</p><p>Jack raised her hand, then shouted, "<i>Now!</i>" </p><p>Her team sprung into action, spawning barriers and firing off throws that knocked Reapers into each other, setting the field of battle into chaos.</p><p>Miranda leaned out of cover to fire her pistol, then ducked and grabbed a handful of grenades salvaged from the crashed shuttle. Beside her, Jack split her attention between the team and their enemies, choreographing ongoing destruction even as smoke billowed in and threatened to choke out her orders.</p><p>Minutes ticked by as the Reapers closed in around them, endless and inexorable.</p><p>Jack's biotics burned with effort, exhaustion, and the utter degree to which she was pissed the fuck off about these <i>things</i>, on <i>her</i> home world, attacking <i>her</i> team. Her voice went raw with the rage she screamed into the battle.</p><p>Eventually, she noticed Reapers falling that she hadn't actually hit. The ships in the sky above listed, then gave way to gravity and started tumbling to the ground.</p><p>She ordered her team to stand down, then watched as the Reapers simply... stopped.</p><p>Nearby, breathless shouts of relief rose from other fragmented Alliance forces holed up in tattered buildings.</p><p>Jack couldn't quite process what had happened. She chanced a look over at Miranda, half expecting Miranda to tell her that this was some kind of lie, and that the Reapers were just toying with them.</p><p>Instead, Miranda looked back at her, and exhaled a faint, disbelieving laugh. </p><p>It was a beautiful, broken noise that somehow made the moment sharp and real. Jack jerked into motion, lunging toward her. </p><p>Until Jack's arms were wrapped around her, Miranda didn't know if she was going to be attacked or hugged. She hesitated for a moment before she shut her eyes and held Jack tightly, letting her fingers fist into the fabric of Jack's jacket.</p><p>Ensign Rodriguez hopped down from her perch behind a makeshift barricade that might have once been a ground transport vehicle. She wiped her brow, then made a face at the grit she could feel covering her entire body. "Hey Prangley," she called to her teammate, tossing her head toward the two women. "Think that's the 'cheerleader' she's always bitching about?"</p><p>He shrugged in response. The last time they'd bumped into someone from Jack's past, she'd <i>punched Commander Shepard in the face</i>. He'd stopped trying to figure out how she categorized friend and foe.</p><p>Jack was still a little dazed when she pulled away, and couldn't tear her eyes from the wry smile on Miranda's face.</p><p>"Well then," Miranda said.</p><p>"Yeah," Jack replied, with a snort. She looked around, and counted her squad - all alive, all accounted for, all slumped in obvious fatigue but otherwise intact. "Fucking hell," she breathed.</p><p>There were still crashing explosions in the distance, but the shooting had dwindled to an occasional rattle. The burn of energy weapons in the air was already starting to dissipate.</p><p>Miranda let out a long, shaky breath. Then her omnitool crackled.</p><p>
  <i>"Alliance London, we've lost telemetry on key personnel. Anyone got eyes on Hammer? Last detected location for Shepard still on the ground."</i>
</p><p>Jack turned, slowly, her reactions slow and dull. "What? Didn't she catch the beam? Didn't she <i>do</i> this?!"</p><p>Miranda fired up her tracking, and got a faint ping off familiar Cerberus tech. "Shepard's still down there," she breathed, pointing to the trench. "Fading fast." She gave Jack a grim look before scrambling out of their fortification to make a belated run for the beam.</p><p>"Shit," Jack breathed. "Get your asses out here," she barked to her team, as she hauled herself after Miranda. "Look for survivors. But <i>be careful</i>. Don't be the idiot who outlives the apocalypse just to sprain your ankle in a fucking pothole."</p><p>She jogged a bit to catch up to Miranda at the top of the trench. "Shit," she breathed again, looking down at the nightmarish landscape of destroyed buildings and bodies below.</p><p>Miranda worked frantically at her omnitool. "There," she declared, gesturing to a pile that looked like every other pile, that looked like any other shallow grave. She hopped down into the rubble with Jack a step behind.</p><p>Splitting her attention between the terrain and her omnitool, Miranda scrubbed through the chaotic Alliance channels. "<i>Normandy</i>, come in," she paged.</p><p>Jack turned to see her team scattered in formation behind her, scanning for life signs and flagging down medics. She turned again and tried to keep her eyes on Miranda, and <i>not</i> on the scattered evidence of dead Alliance troops strewn across the trench. The scene was horrific in a way she couldn't quite process.</p><p>Miranda changed a setting on her comms and tried again. "<i>SSV Normandy</i>, this is Miranda Lawson, priority request. Respond." She pointed Jack toward a collapsed brick wall.</p><p>"Miranda? How the hell did you get priority channel access?" Joker asked. "Anyway, we're a little busy dodging Reaper corpses..."</p><p>"Need medical airlift for Commander Shepard," Miranda said, firmly cutting him off. "Condition critical."</p><p>Joker sputtered. "But you're still on the surface... <i>shit</i>. Okay, we're inbound. ETA three minutes, if I have anything to say about it. Hold on."</p><p>The comms hadn't quite severed before the ship's proximity and inertial klaxons went off, and the <i>Normandy</i> yawed into a dramatic dive back into the atmosphere.</p><p>Rather than risk brute force by biotics, Jack fell to her knees and started digging out broken bricks by hand. After clearing a couple layers and clawing away some dust, she suddenly grabbed hold of badly damaged Alliance-issue armor, painted in red and white stripes.</p><p>"Shepard!" she cried.</p><p>Miranda scrambled to her side to clear away the remaining debris.</p><p>Uncovered, Jane Shepard was broken, battered, and barely recognizable under all the blood and dirt. Any other human would have been long dead.</p><p>Instead, she took a lurching breath.</p><p>Miranda immediately fired off emergency stabilization protocols on Shepard's implants, trying to minimize shock and keep her from crashing.</p><p>Jack could hear the whine of the <i>Normandy's</i> engines above them, wildly overtaxed as the ship careened toward the planet's surface. She rallied her squad, told them each to pick an evac buddy who was mobile from the injured Alliance soldiers about, and to get their asses on the ship, <i>now</i>.</p><p>She and Miranda carefully extricated Shepard's limbs from under the remnants of the collapsed building, and Jack squinted into the blast of air as the <i>Normandy</i> swooped in and opened its shuttle bay. A small crowd waited at the end of the ramp, flanking crewmen carrying a stretcher who charged ahead to scoop up Shepard and get her aboard.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas ran alongside the stretcher, administering medigel and running scans as Miranda rattled off vital statistics. Liara T'soni trailed after them, still clutching her side and looking dazed from her own escape from the trench.</p><p>Jack herded her squad onboard, counting heads by reflex just as the ramp slid shut again. She took a moment to catch her breath as the ship's engines veered them back away from the city proper.</p><p>James stepped over. "Welcome aboard," he said with a salute. "Jack, right? I'm..."</p><p>"Vega," she said. "I remember. Can you get my squad some first aid?"</p><p>"Already on it," he said. Behind him, Cortez and another crewman were trotting out with medigel and rations. James stepped a little closer and dropped his voice. "Any of that blood yours?"</p><p>Jack looked down at herself, seeing the dark, rusty color staining her hands, and shook her head. "Shepard's," she said, weakly.</p><p>James nodded. "Crew deck," he said. "We'll get you and your squad settled in the observation lounge."</p>
<hr/><p>It took all of Miranda's enhanced ability and reflexes to keep Shepard's vitals from bottoming out. Even then, they almost lost her, twice.</p><p>On the next bed over, Liara sat in unnerving stillness, eyes pitch black as she reached through her bond with Shepard to keep her consciousness tethered.</p><p>After several minutes, the initial crisis eased. Shepard's cybernetic systems worked exactly to Miranda's spec; they'd kept her neurons <i>just</i> firing, kept her organs <i>just</i> alive, <i>just</i> kept her from bleeding out in the dirt. Now regular human science had its best shot of helping her recover. Miranda's fingers hovered over a display with custom Cerberus implant controls as she waited, counting the seconds as they ticked away from the last systems collapse.</p><p>Bent in a similar pose across the medical bed, Doctor Chakwas watched the minute fluctuations in Shepard's vitals, and made an adjustment to the meds flooding her system. She nodded a bit, then looked over to Miranda. "The hard part's up to her, now," she murmured, then reconsidered, with a glance at Liara. "But at least she has help."</p><p>Miranda murmured agreement, and stepped back with a sigh. She departed the medical bay in a haze, and ended up in the ship's lift, unsure where to go, unsure how to process... <i>everything</i>.</p><p>She didn't remember actually selecting the engineering deck as her destination, but the lift door opened and she looked out into the shuttle bay with a sigh. Jack and her squad weren't visible, so she figured they'd been relocated to a more hospitable spot on the ship.</p><p>When Miranda had been tasked with building this <i>Normandy</i>, she'd taken a definite liking to the engineering deck. It felt quiet and isolated, a quality that was somehow enhanced after the Alliance refit. She headed down the gangway to the compartment below the drive core, sat on the spare cot that was still there, and tried to make herself breathe normally.</p><p>Her mind, which was usually well-ordered and responsive, felt alternately unfocused and frenzied as it skipped from place to place. The Reapers might be defeated. Shepard might survive. They all <i>might</i> have somehow sidestepped oblivion and the cycle <i>might</i> actually continue.</p><p>She dropped her head to her hands and tried to ignore the myriad unknowns, just for a moment.</p>
<hr/><p>With minor wounds tended to and rations greedily inhaled, Jack's squad sprawled on the benches in the observation lounge, too tired to even manage their usual banter.</p><p>Jack supposed she should have felt triumphant, or relieved, or <i>something</i>. Instead she just felt... itchy. Even after a shower and change of clothes. She couldn't sit still, and definitely couldn't stand the view out the window, a slow grey pan of London in smoking shambles.</p><p>She caught Rodriguez's eye and ordered her to keep everybody in one place, then fled the lounge, seeking the hidey-hole she'd once called home. She spotted Miranda on her old cot, and the itching under her skin immediately subsided.</p><p>"Hey," she called, quietly.</p><p>Miranda started, and leapt to her feet. "Jack, hello. I'm sorry. Probably strange for me to be here," she rambled. "I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I'll go..."</p><p>"Forget it," Jack muttered. "Not actually my quarters anymore, and bunks are tough to come by right now. We can share."</p><p>That... was not what she'd meant to say. She shook her head at herself and grumbled while Miranda arched her eyebrows in a delicately doubtful way, and neither of them made the next move.</p><p>Jack rolled her eyes at their impasse. "Fine, you can sleep on the floor."</p><p>In spite of everything, Miranda chuckled. It sounded a little like that noise she'd made in the city, when they both found themselves improbably alive. Jack ducked away from Miranda's gaze and dropped onto the cot, pressing herself against the bulkhead on her side, leaving as much room as she could.</p><p>Miranda tentatively eased in and lay on her back, arms folded tightly across her body as she stared resolutely upward, broadcasting tension and worry.</p><p>While Jack watched Miranda's profile, wishing she could think of something useful to say, fatigue finally got the best of her and she dozed off for a handful of minutes. She dreamt of loud cacophony, anger, and sharp, jagged shadows, which threatened to close in on her. She jerked awake with a start, still facing Miranda, who was still staring into some unseen, traumatic middle distance.</p><p>For some reason, that lost look stabbed through Jack.</p><p>"Hey," Jack said. Her voice was still rough from the battle, and she coughed a bit. "You don't look like someone who just won a war."</p><p>Miranda blinked, and her gaze sharpened as she returned to the present. "Can't say we won, just yet."</p><p>Jack nodded. "Do you remember that ridiculous party Shepard threw?"</p><p>"Most of it," Miranda replied with a wry twist of her lips.</p><p>In point of fact, the night got a little hazy for Jack at some point between a round of body shots and waking up curled against Miranda on one of those cushy couches, with her face buried in soft, dark hair, and Shepard's jokes about "sexual tension" echoing through the hangover from hell.</p><p>"Think her apartment survived whatever the hell happened up there?" Jack asked.</p><p>"I have no idea," Miranda replied.</p><p>Jack nodded. "I hope it did. Maybe she can throw another party and she can do her shitty dancing and T'soni can be all pathetic, and we can all be the idiots who keep following her and pulling her outta hell."</p><p>Miranda smiled. "It was a good party. And Shepard's new crew mates seem... adequate." </p><p>"Yeah, they're okay," Jack allowed. "Whatever." She shrugged, even though she counted Miranda's smile as a victory. "That thing on Horizon..." she continued.</p><p>At that, Miranda clenched her jaw, and the smile disappeared. "Yes."</p><p>"I heard the message that you left," Jack said. "I know you went there to stop that shit. And I know you helped Shepard blow up Cerberus for good."</p><p>Miranda turned, just a bit, to look at her.</p><p>"I know none of that was about me or anything, but I really enjoyed it."</p><p>"I had a lot of good reasons," Miranda said, softly. "You were one of them."</p><p>Jack sputtered a bit, and ignored the infuriating blush that heated her face. She looked away from Miranda's penetrating gray eyes. "Your sister got out, right?" she asked.</p><p>"Yes," Miranda said, with a grim look. "And my father... did not."</p><p>Jack pursed her lips, deciphering the subtext of that comment. "Good," she said, with emphatic venom.</p><p>Miranda went quiet for a long beat. "Thank you, Jack," she said finally.</p><p>"And I didn't mean what I said," Jack said, rushing ahead with a quasi-apology, since she was so profoundly unskilled at such things. "At the party. The part about still hating you. I don't." She shrugged. "Who has time for that kinda shit?"</p><p>Miranda watched her, faintly amused. "You also said I had nice tits."</p><p>"I said 'fantastic' tits, and you <i>know</i> they are," Jack snapped. "Shut up."</p><p>A discreet alert forestalled any further conversation. "Operative Lawson," sounded EDI's voice from the ship's comms. "Doctor Chakwas has requested your presence in the medical bay."</p><p>"Thank you, EDI," Miranda replied. For a moment longer, she waited, steeling herself for whatever was about to happen. She was simultaneously anxious to know if Shepard was still alive, and terrified to learn she might not be.</p><p>For two years, Shepard had been a project, an abstract - not an actual person. Then she was suddenly quite real, <i>then</i> she became an ally, a friend, a hero, and a savior. Miranda wasn't sure she could cope with losing all of that, despite their complicated relationship.</p><p>She shut her eyes, then pushed herself to her feet with a sigh. She looked back at Jack, who was watching her with a mirror of her own worry, and offered her hand.</p><p>"Whatever happens, Shepard's friends should be with her," Miranda said, quietly.</p><p>"Yeah," Jack breathed in agreement, fighting the sick lump in her throat. She took Miranda's hand, stood, and followed her to the lift.</p><p>Most of the ship's crew had gathered on the crew deck, standing in silent vigil. Jack recognized a few familiar faces and was inclined to wait with them, but Miranda wasn't letting go of her hand. They weaved their way through the crowd, and slipped past the privacy barriers in the medical bay.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas looked over as they entered, and gave Miranda a tired nod. "She's stable, for now," she reported. "She asked to see you."</p><p>Miranda squeezed Jack's hand before releasing it and stepping over to Shepard's bedside.</p><p>Jane was semi-conscious, her eyes scanning left to right but not really seeing anything. Liara leaned over her, and gently touched her face. "Miranda's here," she said, quietly.</p><p>At that, Jane seemed to find her focus, and she looked over to see Miranda, even managing to raise a hand to draw her nearer.</p><p>Miranda leaned in, and listened to receive weak, whispered orders: "Need you to take command," Jane rasped. "Take care of the ship. Take care of the crew."</p><p>"Aye, Commander," Miranda replied. "I'll do everything I can." She straightened. "EDI, did you catch that?"</p><p>"I did, Operative Lawson," replied EDI's disembodied voice.</p><p>"Good. Please make the update to the ship's log." She looked back down at Shepard, who had lost the battle to stay conscious, but was still breathing, and somehow already healing. Miranda smiled, and pressed a gentle hand to Shepard's forehead in a kind of benediction.</p><p>"You brought her back to me, <i>again</i>," Liara whispered, unable to tear her eyes away from her bondmate's face.</p><p>Miranda reached across Shepard to pat Liara's shoulder, then disengaged and turned to confer quietly with Chakwas.</p><p>In the background, Jack twitched a bit, feeling wildly out of place, like she was intruding on some incredibly private moment between incredibly intimate friends, and she had no business in that room, with these women. The raw <i>feelings</i> in the air made her feel as exposed as all the cybernetics visibly holding Shepard together.</p><p>Miranda turned back her direction and smiled, then strode back out to face the crew.</p><p>Jack felt a jolt, deep in her gut, and almost looked over her shoulder to see who might be behind her - who might have evoked that genuine, warm expression. She blinked a few times, then followed Miranda back out of the medical bay.</p><p>Miranda drew herself to attention, and asked EDI for the ship's comms.</p><p>"<i>Normandy</i> crew, this is Miranda Lawson," she announced. "Commander Shepard is alive." She paused, and let the ripple of relief pass across the ship. "Her condition remains critical, and she has ordered me to take temporary command of the ship. Please stand by for your assignments." She cut the ship-wide channel to speak to each individual officer that was waiting nearby.</p><p>"Lieutenant Commander Williams," she said, with a nod to Ashley. "Please catalog and coordinate remaining Alliance resources here in London. Garrus," she continued. "Contact local allied fleets, and begin triage against salvage and rescue."</p><p>"Specialist Traynor, I need you to coordinate data intake and analysis. It's going to be noisy out there. Have Joker take us on a search pattern across the area, and broadcast standard Alliance frequency queries. Let's see who's still able to answer."</p><p>"Jack, please prepare your squad to help with ground support operations. Vega, Cortez, you're with Jack."</p><p>"Tali, avail yourself of every resource to figure out if the Reapers are really dead, or deactivated, or... whatever."</p><p>"Standard watch," Miranda concluded sharply, to the entire assembled group. "Six hours on, six off. Get some sleep, and if you're injured, prioritize healing. We've got a lot of work to do, and everybody who's still out there will need us at our best. Dismissed."</p><p>The crew snapped to attention and headed off to their assigned tasks.</p><p>Jack was impressed, as she reflexively headed to the observation deck to check on her squad. Even in near-death catatonia, Shepard knew the best thing for her crew would be Miranda Lawson, who always had a plan.</p>
<hr/><p>Jane's mind had gone quiet, retreating from the extraordinary pain of her injuries. Liara leaned into their bond just to be there in the background, a reminder of a safe, loving presence waiting for her to return.</p><p>Liara indulged herself by lingering in memories, the ones she purposely hadn't let herself think about since the destruction of the first <i>Normandy</i>: the first time she and Jane had melded, the first time she'd caught Jane smiling at her, the first time they'd kissed. </p><p>It was somewhat mortifying to contemplate her younger self, so naive and blissfully unaware of the profound danger and tragedy ahead. She'd been so awed by Jane Shepard, this human touched by the Protheans, who possessed a will that could bend the course of the entire galaxy.</p><p>She certainly didn't feel young anymore, but that awe at the sheer willpower of one Jane Shepard - that had never dwindled.</p><p>Liara left that last impression behind within their bond, and extricated herself slowly. When the darkness receded from her eyes, the pain from her own injuries flooded back. She caught herself on the edge of the medical bed with a gasp.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas was at her side in moments. "You need to rest," she ordered, gently.</p><p>Liara looked at her with exhausted, bloodshot eyes. "I can't leave her," she whispered. "Not again."</p><p>Karin recognized that look of anguish. She'd been on the escape pod with Liara when they'd fled the last <i>Normandy</i>, as the ship had disintegrated in the Collector attack. She sighed, and carefully guided Liara to the next bed over. "She's not going anywhere," Karin promised. "And neither are you. You've got some serious internal injuries, and you need to spend some time with a regeneration unit."</p><p>It was an indicator of just how serious those injuries were that Liara offered no further protest, and let the doctor engage her long-delayed treatment.</p><p>With her patients both settled and stable, Karin took a seat at her desk. She knew she couldn't yet afford to let herself stand down from combat readiness, but she did let herself experience a moment of profound gratitude that Shepard and her bondmate had somehow survived this much, together.</p><p>Outside the med bay windows, she spotted Tali sneaking out of the main battery, likely heading her way to request a fresh dose of antibiotics after some kind of "celebration" with Garrus. </p><p>And she had <i>definitely</i> noticed the spark between Miranda and Jack earlier. She could only imagine the contusions that would result from <i>that</i> particular encounter.</p><p>The doctor smirked as she submitted a requisition for additional first aid supplies, since it suddenly looked like they were all going to survive long enough to need them.</p>
<hr/><p>Predictably, the next several hours were chaos. The <i>Normandy</i> was hailed for assistance from around the globe, all over near-Earth orbit, and as far out as Neptune. Miranda ordered the ship to stay local to London, and stay focused on operational support: Stop the (sometimes literal) bleeding. Get local checkpoints up and running. Get them staffed and supplied. Use London as a beachhead to stabilize the rest of the system.</p><p>All of which meant that Jack and her squad spent a hectic several hours in and out of a Kodiak, dropping in on bedraggled Alliance troops to dig them out from under Reaper damage, or to move them to a more strategic spot.</p><p>Jack realized she could tell the difference between Alliance troops who had been recently ordered to Earth, and those who had been there from the beginning; the months of Reaper incursion had left deep, lasting damage on those who survived it.</p><p>Or, as Rodriguez had bluntly observed: "These people are messed up."</p><p>The squad was pensive as they returned to the ship and bedded down for a bit. Jack went wandering and ended up at the CIC, where Samantha Traynor gave her a nod in greeting.</p><p>"Operative Lawson is in the War Room," she reported. "She... does not seem inclined to stand down."</p><p>Jack squinted at her.</p><p>"Perhaps you could... convince her," Traynor added.</p><p>"Yeah, sure. Why the hell not?" Jack blurted, bemused at Traynor's presumption. She wandered into the War Room, speculatively eyeing the ship's upgrades, and spotted Miranda scrolling through some incredibly dense sitrep from the allied fleets.</p><p>"Hey. Shift's up," Jack announced. "Dunno if you heard, but the new CO's a real hardass."</p><p>"Noticing my ass, now?" Miranda said with a smirk. "I'm fine. Thank you."</p><p>Jack nearly said "fuck it" and bailed, but for some reason found herself leaning closer. "You know this crew can handle standard search and rescue ops without you for a few hours," she said quietly. "With Shepard down for the count, they need you to take care of yourself."</p><p>Miranda looked askance at her, plainly surprised. </p><p>Jack shrugged. "Blame Prangley," she said. "I'd still be out in the field too, but he got a hangnail and we had to come back to the ship."</p><p>"The war has been hard on one's manicure," Miranda conceded, with a smirk. She set down her data pad and straightened, stretching out the muscles in her shoulders and back, and not missing Jack's appreciative gaze. "Very well," she murmured. "Shall we?"</p><p>Jack followed her amiably back out to the CIC.</p><p>"Ma'am," Traynor said, with a sharp salute. "I've got next watch. Promise to triage the good data for you when you're back on duty."</p><p>"Thank you, Specialist," Miranda replied.</p><p>"Also, I'm pretty sure if you ask nicely, EDI would let you in to the Commander's quarters to take advantage of her shower."</p><p>Miranda looked down at herself, and brushed weakly at the copious smudges of dirt and blood marring her white uniform. She snuck a look at Jack, who snorted, then lifted a hand to swipe at the dirty streak from an energy burn across her cheek.</p><p>"I wasn't gonna say anything, but since <i>she</i> did..." Jack muttered.</p><p>Traynor watched their interaction with nary a blink, but whipped around to her station as soon as the lift door closed behind the two women to alert Tali that she'd be collecting on that bet.</p>
<hr/><p>Jack invited herself along to Shepard's quarters, and kept herself occupied spinning in idle circles in the office chair while she waited for Miranda to get cleaned up.</p><p>Miranda emerged from the bathroom in a spare Alliance uniform, blotting her hair, entirely amused that Jack had bothered waiting.</p><p>Jack leapt from the chair and grumbled as she set about escorting Miranda below deck, practically shoving onto the cot in the engineering compartment. She unrolled a blanket she stole from Shepard's closet, and held it up expectantly.</p><p>At the end of a long, improbable day, this turn of events was all a little more surreal than she could handle. Miranda held up a hand in confusion. "Are you... tucking me in?"</p><p>"You would've stayed on duty for another three shifts," Jack accused, without answering the question.</p><p>Miranda bristled. "I am more than capable of..."</p><p>"You need to rest," Jack said, with finality. "The entire fucking galaxy is holding its breath right now, and we need you to be okay, especially if Shepard..." She trailed off with a shrug.</p><p>At that, Miranda deflated a bit. "All right," she agreed, quietly. "But only if you stay with me."</p><p>Jack hesitated. "Um."</p><p>"It's nice to see a friendly face," Miranda added.</p><p>If she were less exhausted, Jack would have laughed out loud. "Concussion, much?" she asked. "You <i>do</i> know who you're talking to, right?"</p><p>"I do," Miranda replied. "I'm talking to my teammate, who saved my life earlier today. Who always shows up when it counts, even when it pisses her off. Who's letting me sleep in her old bunk," she concluded easily. "You want bulkhead side?"</p><p>What the hell. "I guess so, yeah."</p><p>Miranda stood and let Jack get situated, then gingerly scooted in on her side, so they were facing each other. She casually grabbed a fistful of Jack's jacket to hold herself in place, then shut her eyes and tried to will herself asleep.</p><p>Jack carefully pulled the blanket up over them both, then wasn't sure what to do with her hands. She put one hand on Miranda's hip, since her pose looked a little precarious.</p><p>At that gentle touch, Miranda instinctively shifted closer, curling against Jack and exhaling the tiniest ragged sigh.</p><p>Jack froze, but was honestly too tired to react to whatever the hell was happening just then. She let her hand slide gently up Miranda's back to keep her close, then dropped off to sleep.</p><p>When she jerked awake some hours later from those weird, abstract nightmares, she once again found her face buried in that soft, dark hair. Miranda's scent took the edge off her usual fight or flight reaction, and she tilted back toward sleep almost immediately.</p><p>While drifting off, she promised herself she'd get her shit together and stop snuggling with Miranda Fucking Lawson. Sometime.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <i>"You're playing with things you don't understand," she insisted, to the Illusive Man while he droned on about controlling the Reapers.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Stay with me," she pleaded to David Anderson, as he faded away beside her. "We're almost through this."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Wake up," ordered the Catalyst, which was somehow a kind of sentient being.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Wake up..."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP.</i>
</p><p>Jane woke with a raspy gurgle, struggling to catch her breath. There was a figure leaning over her, a voice she couldn't quite hear over the thundering of her own heartbeat. Everything was white and blurry, echoing with profound, numbing pain. "What happened?" she managed to ask.</p><p>Liara gently took her hand, and tried to soothe her. "I'm here. We won. You're going to be okay," she said. It was the important information, distilled, and she hoped Jane could hear it.</p><p>Jane fell back against the bed, panting as she tried to focus on Liara's face, tried to weigh the veracity of her words. "I love you," she rasped with urgency, similarly deciding that was the only thing that really mattered, even if this moment was all just an elaborate hallucination as her brain shut down in the cold vacuum of space, again.</p><p>"I love <i>you</i>," Liara replied, before bending to kiss Jane's forehead. "I always will. Try to rest."</p><p>Jane seemed reluctant to comply, not wanting to lose sight of Liara's face. Eventually her body won out, and her eyes slid shut as she drifted back into unconsciousness.</p><p>Chakwas hovered nearby, monitoring the entire event. She relaxed a bit when Shepard's vitals dipped back into a less frenetic range, and gave Liara a nod, and watched the other woman lean heavily against the side of Shepard's bed.</p><p>"You're due for another dose of medigel," Chakwas murmured.</p><p>"I'm all right," Liara said, waving her off.</p><p>Chakwas looked skeptical. "Very well. But the commander isn't the only one who could use rest." She eyed Shepard's vitals for another moment, pursing her lips in satisfaction. "But I wouldn't blame you if you were trying to avoid the dreams."</p><p>Liara shook her head. "I'm not sure what you mean."</p><p>"Getting a lot of reports from the crew," Chakwas replied. "Vivid, chaotic nightmares. I'm wondering if we're living through some after effects of early indoctrination."</p><p>That was horrifying to contemplate, even if Liara had privately fretted about the possibility for several weeks. She looked down at Jane, and smoothed away a stray bit of hair from her forehead. "That explains some things," she murmured. "Her mind is unusually turbulent."</p><p>Chakwas hummed. "I suspect psychologists will be studying the ripple effects of this war for generations," she mused. "But you know, they'll be <i>able</i> to do that because of Commander Shepard and the crew of the <i>Normandy</i>." She smiled, and deliberately changed the subject. "I wonder how many millions of children will end up going to schools named after her?"</p><p>Liara smiled as well, enjoying that idea. "She'll have to attend the opening ceremonies of those schools, of course."</p><p>"And will end up swarmed by hundreds of hero-worshipping children." </p><p>Liara grinned, definitely appreciating that mental picture, and Chakwas' effort to redirect from the protracted anxiety of the present.</p><p>
  <i>I'm here. We won. You're going to be okay.</i>
</p><p>Nightmares and unknowns aside, she was at Jane's side, and they were both still breathing. She idly ran her fingertips across Jane's outstretched hand, and smiled when Jane's fingers reflexively closed around hers.</p><p>At that moment, for the first time in longer than she could remember, Liara let herself believe that there might actually <i>be</i> a future to look forward to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time seemed to contract, snap back, and restart its cadence, normalizing the end-of-the-world day-to-day routine. While salvage and rescue continued in orbit overhead, the <i>Normandy</i> was tasked with figuring out just what the hell had happened to the Reapers...</p>
<p>... which involved parking next to one and poking it with a pointy stick.</p>
<p>Jack paced nervously behind Tali and Garrus while they approached the deactivated hulk of machinery. This particular destroyer had crashed into an empty field in the British midlands, and a herd of sheep watched them idly as they walked past.</p>
<p>Tali scanned the exterior, and ultimately found something that could serve as a data port, so she jacked a probe into the ship's infrastructure and started downloading data.</p>
<p>"What would we even do if it woke up?" Jack asked, as she hefted her shotgun to her shoulder.</p>
<p>Garrus tilted his head, and eyed the sheep peacefully munching grass. "Hide among the wildlife and hope the Reaper didn't notice?" he said drolly.</p>
<p>"No way you pass for a sheep, Garrus."</p>
<p>"I could pass for a sheep," he replied, confidently. "Is that what those things are? Sheep?"</p>
<p>Jack snorted, and turned to watch Tali as she studied her omnitool with profound concentration. "Don't hurry or anything," Jack called. "This is fun."</p>
<p>When Tali didn't bother replying to her sarcasm, Jack took a walk along the Reaper's hull, prodding it here and there, and muttering gratuitous insults, figuring if it were <i>able</i> to respond, it definitely would.</p>
<p>After the ultimately uneventful data collection, they returned to the ship. Jack walked backwards for a while, keeping her eyes on the Reaper, then finally sheathed her weapon and turned toward the <i>Normandy</i>, where Miranda waited for them at the top of the shuttle ramp.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Six women gathered around the war table. Jack wasn't totally sure why she'd been invited to attend the debriefing, but she kinda wanted to hear what Tali had found out anyway.</p>
<p>Liara started with her deep dive into Crucible research. "The scholars of Athame think a progenitor race discovered a Reaper kill signal several cycles ago," she said. "It was effective, but only at incredibly close range. Rather than leave evidence of that signal that the Reapers might detect and learn how to evade, the progenitors buried it in what became plans for the Crucible and hoped future cycles might ultimately succeed where they failed."</p>
<p>"The Reapers had no real reason to consider the Crucible a threat," Miranda mused. "They'd watched countless cycles build it and fail. They didn't know the kill signal was at its core."</p>
<p>"And they didn't know the Citadel was their major weakness," Ashley continued. "The Reapers needed it for their incursion plans, so it just persisted, cycle after cycle."</p>
<p>"Even though the Citadel is what made the kill signal able to travel the relay network," Tali concluded. </p>
<p>"So, what if that hadn't worked?" Jack asked. It wasn't a comfortable question, precisely because they all knew the answer. Jack tried something else. "For that matter, how do we know it worked <i>this</i> time?"</p>
<p>"A fair question," EDI replied. She took a moment to calculate a number of variables as she brought up the galaxy map. "The signal was broadcast from the Citadel, and reached the Charon relay about four and a half hours later. The relay system is designed to amplify and propagate Reaper carrier signals, which the kill signal mimicked. Most occupied systems within the relay network will have already received and rebroadcast the signal at this point, with the exception of a few of the more remote systems in the Verge."</p>
<p>"So there might be stray Reapers still out there, not yet zapped by this thing," Jack continued. "Are they smart enough to override the signal, since they've had warning that it's coming? Are these things gonna wake up?"</p>
<p>"Doubtful," EDI said. "Based on what we've learned, the Reapers had little ability to adapt or innovate. They simply did not dedicate resources for such requirements, since their strategy was based on domination and organic attrition."</p>
<p>"The Reapers possessed a limited shared consciousness, and limited quantum communication functionality," Tali added. "Compared to the geth, which communicate across a shared platform and constantly self-update, the base Reaper programming imperatives were largely uni-directional and monolithic."</p>
<p>"Easy to be critical of their design flaws when there are hundreds of them lying dead across Earth," Ashley concluded, even as she folded her arms uneasily.</p>
<p>"So far, reports from Rannoch, Thessia, Tuchanka, and Palaven all match what we're observing here," Miranda said. "The Reapers aren't just dormant, they're completely deactivated. It's like they were never conscious or ambulatory at all. A pile of tech with no base programming to drive it."</p>
<p>"Were the geth affected by the signal, since they had integrated old machine code?" Liara asked.</p>
<p>"No," Tali replied. "They were able to adapt and isolate the affected code base. They report no substantial changes to their collective."</p>
<p>For a moment they all considered the evidence, which appeared to add up in favor of the reality of their victory.</p>
<p>Jack leaned toward Miranda. "We should probably take out the Omega 4 relay just to be safe," she muttered.</p>
<p>Miranda grunted in agreement, and added that to her report. Since Cerberus had harvested the remains of the human Reaper from beyond the relay, it was an open question as to what they'd left behind.</p>
<p>"There are two outstanding issues of note," EDI announced. She brought up scans of electromagnetic radiation originating from London less than a second after the Crucible kill signal impacted the Reapers on Earth.</p>
<p>"The extinction burst," Liara said. "One last blast of indoctrination."</p>
<p>"It had sufficient energy to affect most sentient organic life within the system," EDI added. "The long term effects will require study."</p>
<p>Miranda grit her teeth. "What's the other outstanding issue?"</p>
<p>"Leviathan," Ashley replied. "We lost it."</p>
<p>Jack choked on a laugh. <i>"What?!"</i></p>
<p>"At some point during the massive rally at Charon, it fell off fleet scanners," Ashley explained. "And shortly after the battle was engaged, our long distance sensors detected relay activation."</p>
<p>"Perhaps Leviathan anticipated the kill signal and sought to avoid it," Liara said. "In which case, it might have escaped to some other system and destroyed the destination relay behind it."</p>
<p>"Okay. So. You all found this proto-Reaper thing, brought it along to the biggest battle in the history of history, and then <i>lost</i> it?" Jack spat in disbelief. "No way <i>that</i> bites us in the ass later."</p>
<p>Miranda winced.</p>
<p>Tali only shrugged. "The battle was quite chaotic. We literally had bigger problems to deal with."</p>
<p>"Well, shit. That's ominous," Jack said.</p>
<p>"A problem for another day," Miranda said firmly. "For now, the cycle will continue."</p>
<p>"The available data appears to support that assertion," EDI agreed.</p>
<p>On that less than rousing observation, the meeting adjourned.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Shepard's recovery was punctuated by bad minutes, then bad hours, which slowly drifted further and further apart. While Liara was busy with research, Jane started to fidget. She was exhausted and in more pain than she could really even process, but she was restless.</p>
<p>She sat up, and gingerly planted her feet on the deck, ignoring Doctor Chakwas' skeptical gaze.</p>
<p>"Gonna go for a walk," she muttered. "Need a change of scenery."</p>
<p>"Very well, Commander," Karin replied, with a nod. "Just call if you need anything."</p>
<p>Jane took careful steps out of the medical bay, timing her departure to duck out of view of passing crew. She pressed her fingertips to the memorial wall, then slowly made her way to Liara's quarters.</p>
<p>Once the door slid shut behind her, she bent sharply under the blazing bolts of pain radiating across all of her limbs.</p>
<p>"Hello, Commander," Glyph said cheerfully. "It is good to see you."</p>
<p>"Hey, Glyph," Jane panted. "What's new?"</p>
<p>"I have two hundred and fifty thousand new entries on the running casualty report since your last inquiry," the VI announced. "Shall I begin?"</p>
<p>Jane nodded, and hobbled slowly over to Liara's desk. As she passed the window, she couldn't bring herself to look at the rubble of London, though she did notice a sliver of blue sky peeking through the slowly diminishing atmospheric disturbance.</p>
<p>She sat, carefully, and listened to Glyph rattle off confirmed Alliance deaths.</p>
<p>She didn't know any of the names, which somehow made it all worse. She wiped away a tear and made herself keep listening, even after Liara walked in.</p>
<p>Jane waved a bit in greeting, then shut her eyes and leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees as Glyph's litany beat against her.</p>
<p>Liara let Glyph go for a minute, then asked him to cease playback. She turned to Shepard, and chafed gentle fingers across her down-bent head. She sat on the edge of her bed and took a breath. "Jane... They found Admiral Anderson's body," she murmured. </p>
<p>Jane sucked in a gasp, unexpectedly thrown by that news. "Oh," she said, weakly.</p>
<p>"The Alliance hasn't released that information, yet. I wanted you to know."</p>
<p>Jane nodded, grateful even as her brain struggled to process what Liara was saying. "On the Citadel?"</p>
<p>Liara hummed in confirmation. "He was found with three other Alliance soldiers, who held a chokepoint at the station arm control. Another soldier was found at the activation console. None of them have been identified yet."</p>
<p>"I'd like to know when they are, after their families have been notified," Jane said.</p>
<p>"Of course." And she knew Jane would commit them to memory. <i>Shenyang. Emden. Jakarta. Cairo. Seoul. Cape Town. Warsaw. Madrid.</i></p>
<p>Jane shook her head slowly, reeling a bit. "I still can't believe I wasn't there," she breathed. "The only mission that mattered..."</p>
<p>"... could only have happened at all because <i>you</i> brought the galaxy together by sheer force of will," Liara argued. "You <i>were</i> there, Jane. In every way that mattered."</p>
<p>Jane started and stopped about four different sentences, trying to describe the loss, the misapprehension her brain had conjured while she laid dying in the dirt, and the utter agony of the moment she realized she'd failed.</p>
<p><i>You did good, child</i>.</p>
<p>"I thought I'd be with him," she finally managed, hollow and lost. She turned red, blurry eyes up to Liara. "He wasn't alone?"</p>
<p>"No," Liara said. She slid off the bed and knelt in front of Jane, reaching for her. "He was with other soldiers, doing what needed to be done. And if he could have known, that's exactly what he would have chosen, to take your place. He would have been so happy that you survived. Jane... he was <i>so proud</i> of you."</p>
<p>At that, Jane shuddered, and let herself crumple against Liara, who held her as tight as she could.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Tensions were high in the shuttle bay. Miranda could feel the anger spike in the air as soon as the lift doors opened.</p>
<p>Which is why it was somewhat incongruous to see Jack leaning casually against the bulkhead. "Hey," she greeted.</p>
<p>Miranda smiled at her, then stiffened at the raised voices coming from the shuttle maintenance pit.</p>
<p>"Maybe if <i>Prangley</i> had watched what the hell he was doing..." complained a young, strained voice.</p>
<p>"Then maybe you'd learn one <i>goddamned</i> thing about covering your flank," a voice yelled back.</p>
<p>Miranda scowled, and gave Jack a sharp look.</p>
<p>"Give it a minute," Jack murmured, with an upturned tone that made it into a request.</p>
<p>"Knock it off, both of you," Rodriguez barked. "You were irresponsible and sloppy and your whiny asses almost got the whole team killed."</p>
<p>At that Jack, shook her head. "Dramatic interpretation," she said, quietly so only Miranda could hear. "But I knew she'd step up." She pushed herself off the wall and sauntered up behind Rodriguez, gesturing for Miranda to follow.</p>
<p>Jack folded her arms, waiting for Rodriguez to lose steam as she berated her teammates. She felt Miranda sidle up at her shoulder, adopting a similar pose. She could see the moment the squad noticed them and snapped to.</p>
<p>"Rodriguez is right," Jack announced. "Shit's serious out there and if you don't look out for each other someone <i>will</i> end up dead." She turned to Rodriguez. "Take 'em through power drills," she ordered. "Make sure <i>everybody</i> gets it right."</p>
<p>"Yes ma'am!" Rodriguez said, with a salute.</p>
<p>Jack looked over to Miranda. "Anything to add, boss?"</p>
<p>Miranda took her cue and leveled a disappointed look down at the squad. "You have your orders," she said, low and menacing enough to utterly reinforce Jack's authority.</p>
<p>Rodriguez rallied the squad into formation, and started their usual practice cadence. Jack headed back to the armory station with Miranda a step behind.</p>
<p>"Guessing you didn't come down here to babysit," Jack drawled.</p>
<p>"No. I needed to confer with Mr. Cortez about our supply lines," Miranda said.</p>
<p>Jack nodded. "Thanks for letting them sort their own shit," she murmured. "Rodriguez is this close to being a convincing officer. She just needs some practice."</p>
<p>Miranda gave her a thoughtful look. "You're not just developing their biotic skills."</p>
<p>Jack shrugged. "Well, we're not dead yet, and the Alliance is gonna need brains, not just brawn," she said, tossing her head toward Vega across the deck, fastidiously doing pull-ups, and oblivious to anything transpiring nearby. "Rodriguez will be a hell of a CO someday, if she manages not to squish Prangley like a bug. Even though he'd probably have it coming."</p>
<p>Miranda's face split in a slow smile. "They're lucky to have you," she said.</p>
<p>Jack snorted. "Let me guess. Cerberus' little behavioral profile didn't predict <i>that</i>, either."</p>
<p>"No, it did not," Miranda allowed. "You continue to be quite the enigma."</p>
<p>"I contain multitudes," Jack replied, only mildly sarcastic as she spun on her heel and headed for the lift. "So talk to supply guy, then let's get some food."</p>
<p>Something had shifted, Miranda realized later. It had probably started at that blasted party in Shepard's apartment, but somewhere along the way she and Jack had ceased antagonizing each other as obligatory teammates, and instead become peers. </p>
<p>Hell, maybe they were even <i>friends</i>, Miranda decided as they sat together in the mess and chatted idly about the day, and she pretended not to notice as Jack stole bits of food off her plate.</p>
<p>Later, after they'd eaten and bunked for the night, Miranda found herself studying Jack's face while she slept, and was oddly enamored with the snarl that curved her lip, even when she was unconscious. </p>
<p>Well then. Perhaps something a bit more than friends.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It became a habit.</p>
<p>At the end of long days sorting catastrophes big and small, Miranda would find Jack, or Jack would bring her a snack (she may directed her squad to raid an apple orchard). They would talk, or sometimes just sit together with cups of terrible Alliance coffee. When their hours matched, they'd end up ducking into the reactor access compartment and arranging themselves on that tiny cot to sleep.</p>
<p>One day, Jack skipped down the gangway, thinking about asking Miranda to take a shuttle trip to a more tropical climate, since her favorite outfit just didn't work work well in the London winter. She found Miranda sitting on the cot, quietly weeping.</p>
<p>For a second she debated whether she should back away and disappear back up the steps. Instead, she shuffled closer, dragging her boot across the deck so Miranda would know she was there.</p>
<p>Miranda jerked, and immediately stood. "I'm sorry," she said, as she swiped at the tears running down her cheeks.</p>
<p>"For what?" Jack asked.</p>
<p>"For... losing my composure. In your space." She straightened, and smoothed out her uniform. "I'll return to the CIC," she declared, as she stepped past Jack.</p>
<p>"Hey, <i>fuck</i> composure," Jack said, snagging Miranda's wrist and tugging her into what started off as an intensely awkward hug.</p>
<p>Miranda froze, then felt Jack's hands gentle at her back and relaxed into the embrace, shuddering a bit. She couldn't help but think of a bleak battlefield, nearly succumbing to onslaught of endless enemies, somehow surviving, and being held by Jack in almost this exact way. She buried her face against Jack's shoulder and let herself just breathe.</p>
<p>Eventually she sighed, and leaned away with a grateful look.</p>
<p>"What the hell happened?" Jack asked.</p>
<p>"Nothing," Miranda said. "Nothing in particular, anyway. Just another day of crisis on Earth and the galaxy teetering on the edge of collapse."</p>
<p>It was a perfectly reasonable deflection, but Jack had her own suspicions. "Have you heard from your sister?" she asked.</p>
<p>At that, Miranda sucked in a breath in surprise. "No, I haven't, actually. I'm sure she's fine. She's quite resourceful." She noticed Jack watching her, and she disengaged from the embrace gather her wits. "Anyway, I'm probably just tired. And also rather embarrassed."</p>
<p>Jack shrugged. "Even if you're the perfect human, you're still human," she said blandly. "Promise I won't tell. No one would believe me anyway."</p>
<p>Miranda chuckled a bit, and realized she felt a great deal better. She took a final moment to regather her composure, and smiled gratefully at Jack. "Thank you."</p>
<p>"You can pay me back," Jack said, with a pointed look.</p>
<p>"If I let you borrow a shuttle, Cortez will have a stroke," Miranda replied, immediately anticipating the request. She turned toward the steps, knowing Jack would follow.</p>
<p>"Cortez can come along," Jack argued. "Just make up some mission that involves needing to harvest resources in the Caribbean, or something."</p>
<p>Miranda grinned, already calculating justification for why a shuttle full of pineapple would be critical to support Alliance recovery efforts.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next day, Jack wandered into the War Room and spotted Liara at a console. "Hey," she greeted. "You wanted something?"</p>
<p>Liara smiled at her. "Indeed. I was hoping you would agree to train with Commander Shepard," she continued.</p>
<p>Jack leaned against the console. "'Train' with her?"</p>
<p>"I've seen the work you do with your team. You're an excellent teacher," Liara said. "Jane could use your skills to regain her physical condition."</p>
<p>"She's not the one asking, though," Jack observed. "Which means you're worried about her."</p>
<p>Liara sighed. "I am."</p>
<p>"You think I can help."</p>
<p>"I do."</p>
<p>"Yeah, no," Jack said, shaking her head. "You've got the <i>wrong</i> person."</p>
<p>"I don't think I do," Liara pressed. "I really have observed your interactions with your squad. You inspire them exceed themselves."</p>
<p>"I scare them so they try to fuck up less," Jack argued.</p>
<p>Liara studied her. "But they do not fear you. They <i>respect</i> you. They desire to meet your high expectations. Jane could... use that kind of coaching."</p>
<p>"She's wallowing," Jack guessed.</p>
<p>Liara ducked her head in acknowledgement. "She has been through a great deal, and I feel at a loss to support her. She respects you, and affords you a degree of candor almost no one else has. Except maybe Garrus."</p>
<p>Jack seized at that opening. "Then get Garrus to do it."</p>
<p>"I fear he'd be far too deferential," Liara said. "You <i>did</i> punch her as a form of greeting."</p>
<p>"Oh for fuck's sake... I was <i>happy to see her</i>," Jack said, defensively.</p>
<p>Liara only smiled. </p>
<p>"So, what? You want me to pick a fight with her?"</p>
<p>"In a manner of speaking. Therapeutically."</p>
<p>Jack scoffed, and noticed Miranda enter the War Room. "Hey, did you know about this?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Doctor T'soni's request for unorthodox therapy?" Miranda guessed. "I endorsed it."</p>
<p>
  <i>"Why?!"</i>
</p>
<p>"You are uniquely qualified to help," Miranda said. "And <i>I</i> am late for a call with Admiral Hackett," she concluded, before excusing herself to the Comm Room.</p>
<p>Jack watched her go, then turned a thoughtful scowl toward Liara. "You want me to beat up your girlfriend," she reiterated.</p>
<p>"I <i>want</i> her to heal," Liara said firmly. "She needs motivation, which she currently lacks. I think you can help her find that."</p>
<p>"Weirdest damn therapy ever," Jack muttered. "Okay. I'll do it, but on one condition. Use some of those Shadow Broker resources I'm not supposed to know about to find Miranda's sister."</p>
<p>Liara nodded in agreement. "Consider it done. And thank you."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Jack wasn't sure how to initiate such things, so she opted for the direct approach. As per usual.</p>
<p>She took a breath, let herself into Liara's quarters, and spotted Jane sitting at the desk as expected. She wadded up the sweatshirt she'd stolen from Jane's wardrobe and tossed it at her head.</p>
<p>"C'mon, Shepard. Suit up. I'm gonna kick your ass."</p>
<p>Jane pulled the hoodie off her head, annoyed. "Wanna try that again?"</p>
<p>"Chakwas cleared you, so don't wuss out on me," Jack insisted. "Let's go."</p>
<p>"Go where?"</p>
<p>"The shuttle bay. I figure we're gonna need some space to do this properly."</p>
<p>"Do <i>what</i> properly?"</p>
<p>Jack rolled her eyes. "Feeling extra obtuse today? You, me, training. You need to get moving again, and that's not gonna happen in this room."</p>
<p>Jane hesitated, looking down at the N7 insignia on the sweatshirt in her hands. </p>
<p>"Regular exercise offers notable improvements to human physical and mental health," Glyph volunteered, helpfully.</p>
<p>"See? You heard the bot," Jack said. "Let's go." She turned and walked out, hoping Jane would actually take the bait.</p>
<p>Jane met her at the lift a minute later, tugging her hoodie into place. "You said Chakwas cleared this?" she asked.</p>
<p>Jack hummed. "Would it matter if she hadn't? You know your body."</p>
<p>"I <i>used</i> to," Jane muttered.</p>
<p>They took the lift in silence and strode out into the shuttle bay, drawing the eyes of everyone on the deck.</p>
<p>Jack bounced on the balls of her feet and threw a few punches into the air. "Those cybernetics of yours need to stretch first?"</p>
<p>Jane rolled her shoulders, barely restraining a wince. "Just give me a minute to warm up," she grumbled. She eased down to the deck for a few push-ups, then stood again and tried to shake the nagging stiffness from her body. According to Chakwas, her implants were functioning at near-peak efficiency, and her injuries were technically healed. Still, she felt far older than her years.</p>
<p>She pushed a hissing breath out from her teeth and lifted her hands in a boxing stance. "All right. Let's go."</p>
<p>Jack amiably complied, setting a basic rhythm: Jab, jab, hook. Cross, jab, uppercut. She moved at a leisurely pace, barely even getting her heart rate up while Shepard started to sweat.</p>
<p>"Faster," Jane ordered.</p>
<p>Jack complied, then sped up again until she was moving somewhere just short of her usual speed in battle.</p>
<p>Jane's vision started to blur, but she didn't stop moving. She was tired of being tired, angry at her body, and she wasn't <i>about</i> to admit weakness in a damned sparring match.</p>
<p>Still, it was obvious she wasn't at a hundred percent, especially when she missed Jack's feet plant for a hook and failed to dodge it. The punch crashed against her cheekbone, sending her spinning to the deck.</p>
<p>"Ah, shit," Jack barked. "Sorry, Shepard."</p>
<p>Jane was on all fours, staring blankly at the metal flooring. She could taste blood, could hear the roaring tinnitus of failure.</p>
<p>Mindful of every set of eyes watching them, Jack gingerly leaned over her. "Shepard, you have to get up," she said quietly, hoping Jane somehow understood the massive implications her behavior had for crew morale.</p>
<p>Jane grit her teeth, and for some reason thought of her clone, who was so angry, so disappointed in her.</p>
<p>"C'mon. Get up," Jack said again. She might have sounded worried.</p>
<p>Everything was heavy, and harder than it should be. She could just stay here. Someone would carry her back to the med bay. No one would be surprised that she was still so broken.</p>
<p>The notion that her current bout of self-pity might inspire <i>answering</i> pity from those around her finally derailed the thundering, intrusive noise in her brain. She would not burden her crew in that way.</p>
<p>She ignored Jack's outstretched hand, pushed slowly to her feet, turned on her heel, and walked back to the lift without a word.</p>
<p>Jack watched her go, and heaved a sigh. She caught Miranda's gaze from the windows above the shuttle bay, and shrugged expansively.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Chakwas tutted a bit as she studied Shepard's latest scans. "I did clear you for <i>exercise</i>, not a street brawl," she said. "Fortunately all I see are bruises. Though I imagine your ego is smarting a bit, too."</p>
<p>Jane's jaw worked in simmering frustration, but couldn't pin it to an accurate target. Rather than unleash it on Chakwas, she kept quiet and kept her eyes on the floor.</p>
<p>"Anything in particular hurting that I should know about?"</p>
<p><i>Everything</i>, Jane almost said. Instead, her anger dwindled, leaving her deflated. "No," she said, quietly.</p>
<p>Karin watched her with an unusual kind of fondness, then nodded. "Very well, Commander." She turned back to her desk while Shepard slid off the bed. "My money's on you, next time."</p>
<p>Jane almost argued with that presumption, but thought better of it.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A week later, Miranda wandered into the reactor access compartment carrying a bottle. She had a happy grin, and her limbs looked so loose and relaxed she was practically floating.</p>
<p>"I got a message from Oriana," she announced. "She's safe on Trebin."</p>
<p>Jack couldn't help her answering smile. "Hey, that's <i>great</i>," she replied. She felt a strange kind of pull, like her entire body desperately wanted to scoop Miranda into a hug. Again. (She <i>really</i> needed to get that shit under control.)</p>
<p>"It is," Miranda agreed. "And I wanted to celebrate." She lifted the bottle. "Serrice Ice Brandy, 'liberated' from Shepard's stash. Care to join me?"</p>
<p>"Hell yes," Jack crowed. She dug out cups from a foot locker, let Miranda do the pouring, then lifted one in a toast. "To making it through this shit," she said.</p>
<p>Miranda gamely tapped their cups together, took a sip, and savored the burn of the drink. She shut her eyes and smiled. "I wasn't sure I'd ever hear her voice again," she murmured. "But she's okay." She sighed happily, then turned and sat on the cot. "Anyone out in the galaxy you're hoping to hear from?"</p>
<p>Jack snorted, and sat next to her. "Literally everyone I give a shit about is on this ship."</p>
<p>"That's lucky," Miranda mused.</p>
<p>"It's <i>pathetic</i>," Jack argued. "Someday I'll get around to making more friends or something. But whatever, you're all alive and safe - that's a perfectly good reason to steal Shepard's expensive booze."</p>
<p>And with that, they settled in, slowly making their way through a couple glasses, then abandoning the glasses altogether to drink straight out of the bottle.</p>
<p>The evening meandered in mellow conversation and casual contact. Jack's skin burned from every touch, and while she listened to Miranda laugh, she started wondering if more days could end like this, in quiet companionship at Miranda's side.</p>
<p>"You know, I was ready to die that day, in the city," Miranda said, slurring a bit as her mood turned maudlin.</p>
<p>Jack sniffed. "Well you didn't. I fucked up your plans."</p>
<p>"That you did."</p>
<p>"That I did." Jack toasted herself, since that seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.</p>
<p>"I'm glad... we survived this. I'm glad we're here together," Miranda continued.</p>
<p>Jack slung an arm across her shoulders. "Me, too," she declared, broadly. "But look. If you wanna get in my pants, don't get me drunk first. That's something I'd wanna have all my..." She gestured with the bottle. "<i>Faculties</i> for."</p>
<p>"Noted," Miranda said dryly. "Pass the bottle."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Samantha Traynor may have been the only person left on the ship with the deference to wait at the door of Liara's quarters, rather than just letting herself in. She smiled brightly at Shepard, and held up a chess board.</p>
<p>"Haven't seen you in a while, Commander," she said. "Fancy a match?"</p>
<p>Jane did not, in fact, give a flying rat's ass about chess in that moment, but she was feeling a bit lonely. She let Traynor in, and shuffled her usual chair over toward the bed to accommodate the board.</p>
<p>"Wasn't sure you'd be keen to play again, considering how thoroughly I trounced you last time," Samantha said, as she set out the pieces.</p>
<p>"I'm just toying with you," Jane replied. "So when I strike, it'll come as a complete surprise."</p>
<p>"Well, that <i>would</i> be surprising," Samantha said, with a smirk.</p>
<p>Jane felt herself bristle, but held back a grumpy response and tried to relax. Traynor was her colleague and friend, and she should more resilient to things like mild teasing. Everything just felt so brittle in her head these days.</p>
<p>She moved a pawn. "How's it going out there?" she asked, tilting her head toward the window.</p>
<p>"Earth is in bad shape," Samantha replied. "But Operative Lawson's strategy is slowly yielding a degree of comfort and predictability that feels incredibly... stabilizing. I wasn't expecting that."</p>
<p>Jane snorted. "She always has a plan. Ever play chess with her?"</p>
<p>"No," Samantha replied, as she moved her knight. "I like to win."</p>
<p>Jane chuckled. "Yeah, so does she."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Jack tossed that damned hoodie at her again. "Cmon, Shepard. Gotta school the newbies."</p>
<p>Jane grit her teeth and considered telling Jack to jump out an airlock. Instead, she pulled the hoodie on and followed Jack to the shuttle deck.</p>
<p>She was angry being treated like a stubborn child. She was angry at her body for fighting her. She was angry at surviving the goddamned war without actually winning it. She could feel the rage pooling in her gut, and she used it.</p>
<p>She took her stance across from Jack, then unleashed with a yell, charging forward.</p>
<p>Jack looked surprised, but parried gamely, and they settled into a routine that was rather more energetic than usual.</p>
<p>Still that anger rolled around inside, even as Shepard threw herself into the fight.</p>
<p>Jack took a cheap shot at her knees. Another at her ankles. </p>
<p>Jane snarled and let the rage boil over, realizing Jack was <i>taunting</i> her, provoking her.</p>
<p>She rolled over a leg sweep and bounced back up to her feet, swinging wide, powerful blows that made Jack back away.</p>
<p>"Oh ho! Look out, kids," Jack crowed. "Shepard's pissed!"</p>
<p>It wasn't an efficient way to take down an opponent; it was exhausting, and the only thing Shepard had to do was outlast, and somehow out-anger the angriest women she'd ever met. Eventually Jack's guard slipped, and Shepard popped her with a sharp fist to the chin that sent her pinwheeling. </p>
<p>Jack fell to the deck, chest heaving, then spat out a mouthful of blood. She propped herself up on her elbows and eyed Shepard appraisingly. "Well, shit. Feeling better?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, actually," Jane panted. She pointed to the mess of blood across Jack's teeth. "<i>That</i> was for Grissom Academy, by the way."</p>
<p>Jack nodded in approval, and wiped at her lip. "Yeah, okay. Fair."</p>
<p>"Glad we got that straight. Gonna go try not to be sick on the deck now," Shepard grunted. She hobbled away, leaving Jack where she was sprawled.</p>
<p>Jack threw back her head and laughed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>That night, Jack went to sleep alone but woke up to Miranda sliding into the cot next to her. "Hey," she grunted sleepily.</p>
<p>"Hello," Miranda said softly, and smiled at her. </p>
<p>Jack was expecting the usual late night update about the ship, the crew, or Shepard. Instead Miranda just watched her for a long moment, then lifted a gentle hand to stroke Jack's cheek.</p>
<p>Jack shuddered into the touch, then they were both pressing closer, breathing against each other before they closed the final distance for a long-anticipated kiss.</p>
<p>In a roaring instant, Jack's entire body was alight, her senses blazing like a good fight. She pushed deeper into the contact with a groan, quite enjoying Miranda's answering sharp inhale and flick of the tongue.</p>
<p>She surprised herself by <i>not</i> immediately pushing Miranda over and tearing at her clothes to use her roughly like she'd admittedly daydreamed about. She did let her hands wander, sliding up those curves, tangling in that dark hair. Miranda responded in kind, and was soft and solid against her, holding her in a way that felt like a lot like something she imagined was actual affection.</p>
<p>It was too much. Jack pulled away, panting, staring into Miranda's eyes to try to process. She could see something genuine, something she trusted, despite a lifetime of self-protective instincts and infinite emotional baggage.</p>
<p>Miranda was still smiling at her, waiting patiently. "Still have all your faculties?"</p>
<p>Jack blinked, and tried to look away, but Miranda guided her back with the lightest brush of fingertips on her cheek.</p>
<p>"What is it?"</p>
<p>"I don't wanna fuck this up," Jack whispered.</p>
<p>"We won't," Miranda promised, and cocked an eyebrow at Jack's disbelieving expression. "Well, <i>I</i> won't. And you're welcome to follow my lead." She brushed her thumb across Jack's lips. "Don't be the idiot who survives the apocalypse only to break your own heart."</p>
<p>Jack's head instantly felt clearer, if not cooler. She focused on Miranda's face, on the gentle, teasing expression she wore.</p>
<p>It occurred to her that Miranda didn't do "casual." And she definitely didn't do "spontaneous." She'd thought about this, considered the pros and cons, and decided she wanted this. Wanted <i>her</i>.</p>
<p>Jack had never felt chosen before.</p>
<p>(Well, maybe once, after Shepard dug her out of Cerberus' cold storage. This was better.)</p>
<p>But she had to be sure. "You actually wanna do this?" she asked, really fucking hating how weak and whiny that sounded.</p>
<p>"I do," Miranda said, simply. She waited, letting that sink in, while she wound her arms around Jack's waist to keep her close.</p>
<p>Jack didn't know how to articulate everything in her head right then, so she figured she'd make it clear what her <i>own</i> choice was. She tilted back in for a deep, breath-stealing kiss, catching Miranda the tiniest bit off-guard as she exhaled a noise of delight.</p>
<p>Then Jack <i>did</i> push Miranda over, arching over her and straddling her, before rearing upright to tear off her jacket.</p>
<p>She rocked her hips, gratified by Miranda's immediate groan and appreciative gaze as she stripped off her admittedly minimal clothing.</p>
<p>Jack bent to claim another heated kiss, then broke off to growl in Miranda's ear. "Gonna make you scream, Cheerleader."</p>
<p>Miranda laughed, low and throaty. "Oh, <i>please</i> do," she replied, with just a hint of smug victory, before ceding to the onslaught of teeth and tongue that <i>definitely</i> tested the limits of the sound barriers she'd configured earlier.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"If your existence were about to cease, and you had a chance to send a final message - what would it be?" EDI asked, as she reviewed the biological scan data shared across the fleet.</p><p>Tali looked sideways at her, but didn't answer.</p><p>"I admit I have pondered my own mortality in this manner," EDI continued. "And I do not know the answer. I think possibly because I have not really faced the certainty of what it means to end." She noticed Tali's discomfort, and seemed to catch herself. "My apologies. I normally discuss such topics with Commander Shepard, but she has been indisposed."</p><p>"You... talk about your mortality with Shepard?" Tali asked.</p><p>"She has a rare degree of expertise on the matter," EDI replied, blandly, before continuing with her original inquiry. "Many species tend to express regret, or thoughts for family and loved ones upon their imminent deaths."</p><p><i>Tell my son, Jona - his father made it to the homeworld.</i> Tali felt her mind stumble on the memory, with its attendant guilt and profound loss on behalf of so many of her people.</p><p>"But given the Reapers' fundamental loathing and parasitic reliance upon sentient, organic life, we can rule out any benevolent intent behind their final message," EDI concluded, bringing her attention back to the data at hand. "Unfortunately, that does not resolve the mystery of what they <i>did</i> leave behind."</p><p>Tali focused on that, rather than dwell in existential dread. "Right. We know that different species have reported different unusual neurological symptoms after the event. Humans have reported strange dreams. Asari have reported disruptions in their bonds. Turians and quarians have experienced related auditory hallucinations."</p><p>"And the krogan seem to be more or less unaffected," EDI added. "Fascinating."</p><p>"What if... the Reapers <i>didn't</i> think they were about to end?" Tali murmured, lost in thought. "What if it wasn't an extinction burst, but merely a signal of some information they planned to access again later?"</p><p>"An interesting - if alarming - possibility," EDI replied. "Much like how previous cycles shared plans for the Crucible and improved upon them over time."</p><p>"The Reapers may have planted the seeds of their own rebirth," Tali concluded.</p>
<hr/><p>Jane stood at the window in Liara's quarters, watching shuttles zip around as the area around London slowly toiled in a laborious cleanup process. She thought about finding Steve and asking him to talk ships, again, since there were alien craft and makeshift vessels she didn't recognize all moving about so busily. </p><p>She envied them their purpose.</p><p>Liara wandered in, and Jane cast a smile at her over her shoulder.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" Liara asked, carefully.</p><p>Jane <i>hated</i> that tone. (She particularly hated that she'd <i>earned</i> it, between her mood swings and general malaise.) "I'm okay," she said, then pointed to the window. "It's busy out there."</p><p>Liara nodded, and sidled up to watch with her. "The remaining quarian ships in orbit have set up a sort of dry dock, to cobble together tech for shuttles and transports. The vessels aren't exactly space worthy, but they are very... creative."</p><p>Jane snorted. That explained some of the more interesting silhouettes she'd seen, as well as the questionable hull integrity. She realized Liara was staring at her, and she looked over in question. "Something wrong?"</p><p>"I miss you," Liara whispered.</p><p>"I'm right here," Jane replied, even though she had a sneaking suspicion she knew what Liara meant. They hadn't bonded, not since those early hours in the medical bay. Even as they stood together in Liara's cabin, Jane felt distant, disconnected, like she was stuck in that old dream, running alone in darkened woods, chasing after phantom regrets.</p><p>Liara watched her with wide, sad eyes, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jane's cheek before stepping out again, leaving Jane alone with her very tiny view of a world in the throes of rebirth.</p>
<hr/><p>It might have been embarrassing, how much they were fumbling around like horny teenagers. Jack was pretty sure they were still being somewhat discreet, even as she felt Miranda up in the lift, or found occasion to tackle her in engineering. The crew definitely had better things to worry about than why they were both constantly late for briefings, or why Miranda's hair might have been slightly (entirely) mussed at the beginning of her watch on the CIC. Right?</p><p>And there was still no personal space on the cot they continued to share, but neither woman minded, since they tended to tangle their limbs together in a contented clothing-optional pile anyway.</p><p>In between patrols with her squad, Jack had received an urgent page to environmental control, where Miranda was waiting, sitting on Thane's old desk with a coy expression that made Jack's blood blaze. She wasted no time situating herself between Miranda's legs and kissing her with patient intensity, letting her fingers slide down around Miranda's ass, clutching in rhythmic motions while Miranda moaned into her mouth.</p><p>Jack had never been into the slow burn, before. Never had been one to linger and savor. Never just wanted to sit and make out with a partner for hours on end.</p><p>But then, none of her partners had ever been Miranda Lawson, with the perfect genes, and the perfect tongue, the perfect ass that curved under her fingers, and the perfect lips that always bent up at the corners when they were together.</p><p>At that, Jack broke off to catch her breath, and eyed Miranda, skeptically.</p><p>"You always smile when I kiss you," she said, like an accusation.</p><p>Miranda leaned away just a bit, regarding her. Still smiling.</p><p>"Like you're happy, or whatever."</p><p>"I <i>am</i> happy," Miranda replied. She realized belatedly that that might not be the right answer when Jack reared away and started pacing the room like a caged animal.</p><p>Miranda slid off the desk with a sigh, and folded her arms to wait Jack out. She stayed very carefully out of the direct path to the door, so that Jack wouldn't feel trapped.</p><p>Jack took a lap, then two. She stopped on the far end of the room and looked back at Miranda with a scowl. "This is fucked up, right? I mean, I <i>really</i> wanted to kill you when we first met."</p><p>"When we first met, I probably deserved it," Miranda deadpanned. "Though if you <i>wanted</i> to kill me, I'd be dead. I've met enough of your enemies to be sure of that." She shrugged. "Not only am I still alive, you've saved my life more than once."</p><p>That was true. And confusing. It didn't take much effort for Jack to summon the root of the rage she felt when she first came aboard the Normandy, subjected to Cerberus' rules and working with Cerberus' goons. She could easily recall the absolute seething anger at Miranda, who enabled Cerberus and embodied Cerberus...</p><p>... who <i>destroyed</i> Cerberus.</p><p>Who brought Shepard back from the dead (twice).</p><p>Who trusted her.</p><p>Who <i>smiled when Jack kissed her.</i></p><p>Weird how easy it was to locate such profound anger and then lose it again in between heartbeats. Jack frowned, annoyed at herself and everything else.</p><p>Miranda was watching her, and she sighed. "We <i>are</i> overdue for this conversation," she murmured. "I owed you as much after Pragia."</p><p>Jack flinched at the name, but didn't bolt. She kind of desperately wanted to hear what Miranda had to say.</p><p>"I'm still disappointed with how I reacted, when you came to me after that mission," Miranda continued. "I was... unsettled."</p><p>Jack flung out her hands in a plain "what the fuck does <i>that</i> mean?" gesture.</p><p>"I'd had my misgivings about Cerberus even before we met," Miranda explained. "After Shepard woke up, I'd begun to realize the magnitude of what they'd done, and my complicity in their crimes." She grimaced. "That was not a comfortable realization. But what happened at Pragia... what happened to <i>you</i>. That was the worst of it."</p><p>"You said I was a 'mistake,'" Jack hissed, quiet and hurt.</p><p>"A result of Cerberus' mistakes," Miranda said. "Compounded by my <i>own</i> mistakes. I've been trying to make up for that ever since."</p><p>Jack gestured between them. "So is <i>that</i> what this is? Making up for a mistake?"</p><p>"No," Miranda said.</p><p>"Then what the hell is it?"</p><p>Miranda cocked her head with a tiny smile. "Liking a girl and hoping she likes me back."</p><p>Jack snorted and actually smacked her hand to her forehead. "Holy <i>fucking</i> shit." When she looked up again, Miranda was right before her.</p><p>Miranda lifted a hand to Jack's face, and brushed gentle knuckles across her cheek.</p><p>"What I <i>should</i> have said, when you came to me after that mission, is that what Cerberus did was utterly, incalculably wrong. Not just because of one rogue project, and not just because of you. But you <i>were</i> what convinced me."</p><p>Jack watched her, nervously.</p><p>"I <i>should</i> have told you how much your strength affected me. I should have told you about I started planning Cerberus' downfall that day. I said I had 'a lot' of reasons to take them down. That was an exaggeration. I had <i>three</i>. My sister, Shepard, and you. I should have told you that, too."</p><p>"So why now, with all this?" Jack asked, gesturing between them again. </p><p>"I've wanted this. Wanted <i>you</i>," Miranda replied. "I could admit as much to myself at Shepard's party. Then you saved my life, in London, and the Reapers fell. I figured I'd never get a better chance."</p><p>The sentiment seemed sincere enough, but Jack had never been one to trust sentiment. Or beautiful women. Or former Cerberus operatives. Definitely not all three at once.</p><p>"I <i>see</i> you, Jack," Miranda continued, in a low, quiet voice. "I see your strength, and how fiercely you protect your team. I see your loyalty, and how much you love them. How much you love Shepard."</p><p>Jack flinched again, but didn't deny it.</p><p>"And I promise you, with everything I am, that you are safe with me," Miranda vowed. "You've had little reason to believe that in the past, but I hope you someday will. And I know I'm safe with you, despite the alarming frequency with which you talk about wanting to kill me." She cocked her head with a smile. "Mind you, that's not actually a turn-off."</p><p>"Don't fucking joke right now," Jack complained, finding a spark of anger again.</p><p>"I'm not," Miranda immediately soothed. "Merely illustrating the unconventional nature of <i>any</i> intimate relationship you might have." She sighed. "I think... that this is <i>healing</i>. For both of us. And healing isn't always pretty. Sometimes it hurts like hell. It's still worth doing."</p><p>"Okay," Jack said, still doubtful. Where she had been desperate to hear what Miranda would say, now she was just exhausted and wish Miranda would <i>stop</i> saying so damn much. There were too many raw emotions exposed to the open air, and she needed time to get them all properly stashed back where they belonged.</p><p>"You matter to me. You always have. Even when you - justifiably - wanted to kill me." Miranda said, even as she sensed they were nearing a perilous edge in the disclosure. She backed off and turned for the door. "I know that was a lot, all at once. I'll just..."</p><p>"You don't have to..." Jack blurted, taking a step after her. "I mean, you don't. Like, later, at the end of your shift..."</p><p>Miranda turned and gave her a teasing look. "Oh, I'll see you below deck," she murmured. "We <i>are</i> still short on bunks, after all."</p><p>The look of utter relief on Jack's face might have been amusing, if not mirrored by the swooping feeling low in Miranda's belly as she winked and strolled out of the room.</p>
<hr/><p>Since Miranda found herself with a bit of spare time, she decided to check on Shepard. As expected, she found the Commander bunkered in Liara's quarters. The lights were off, and the cabin was only illuminated by the amber rays of the setting sun outside. </p><p>"Commander," Miranda began, standing at attention as she consciously fell back to the formality of their early relationship. "Thought you might need a debriefing."</p><p>Jane waved her off. "I've been reading your reports. You've got this under control."</p><p>Miranda nodded. "Then the debriefing is for me," she decided, relaxing her posture. "How are you?"</p><p>Jane sighed, and considered the many ways she tended to answer that question in negatives. To Chakwas, she didn't hurt. To Liara, she didn't feel helpless. To Jack, she wasn't too tired to fight.</p><p>To Miranda, who literally knew her inside and out, she couldn't find an honest answer. "I don't know," she said, bleakly.</p><p>Miranda frowned, and bit back any number of suggestions about how to tweak her cybernetic enhancements to help. </p><p>Shepard smiled ruefully, appreciating Miranda's quiet support. "I also don't know what I would have done without you."</p><p>"You would have died," Miranda said, bluntly. "And I would have died without Jack and her team." She cast thoughtful eyes to the window, and the London sky. "I used to think you were wasting your time, chasing around the galaxy after every little whim from your crew, but... you built us up, made us able to be here when it mattered. It was our turn, Commander. <i>You</i> got us this far. We owed you the assist."</p><p>"I'm not sure about that," Jane countered. "<i>You</i> built this ship. You rebuilt <i>me</i>. I'd say we're even, and the galaxy owes us both."</p><p>Miranda nodded. "I can agree to those terms."</p><p>Jane chuckled. </p><p>"You don't look like someone who just won a war," Miranda observed, quoting Jack.</p><p>Jane bent her head. "I've been fighting since I was a kid," she murmured. "Guess I don't know how to stop."</p><p>"Who said anything about stopping?" Miranda replied. "The galaxy doesn't stop needing Commander Shepard just because the Reapers fell out of the sky."</p><p>Jane didn't reply, but let that statement roll uneasily in her mind.</p><p>"And whenever she needs <i>us</i>, we'll follow her into hell, again," Miranda concluded, before excusing herself.</p>
<hr/><p>Joker's justification to perform a venting maneuver over the Atlantic Ocean the next morning was bogus and Miranda knew it, but she didn't bother arguing. Instead she made her way to the shuttle deck and stood at the top of the open ramp, watching the water rush by below. She took a deep breath of fresh air, enjoying the buffeting roar around her.</p><p>After a few minutes Jack wandered up and stood next to her. She bumped against Miranda, then stayed close, and didn't try to speak over the roaring rush of air. Miranda turned just enough to smile, knowing Jack would see it.</p><p>A few minutes later, Shepard arrived on the shuttle deck for her usual training session with Jack, grumbling about Joker's annoying affinity for atmospheric turbulence as the deck bounced under her feet. She looked up to see the bright glare of sunlight bouncing off the ocean, outlining the two recognizable profiles of Jack and Miranda, who were... awfully close to each other.</p><p>Well. That was interesting.</p><p>Jane wandered up to the top of the ramp, and caught Miranda's gaze. They shared a nod in greeting, before Jane looked away with a thoughtful expression. </p><p>Miranda looked happy. Jack might even be happy too, even if it was harder to tell.</p><p>It was nearly impossible to understand the impact she'd had on the galaxy as a whole, but Jane could see enemies become friends, and friends become more. <i>She'd</i> given them that chance, in some form or fashion. She'd made a difference.</p><p>And they'd all won.</p><p>She watched the world go by, literally, and felt some parts of her mind loosen and stretch for the first time in a long, long time.</p><p>Across the ramp, Miranda smiled again, slowly, enjoying the quiet company of her friends as they zipped over the world they saved together.</p>
<hr/><p>Jane went hard that morning, after Joker had closed the ramp. She swung wide and wild, and Jack easily knocked her to the deck.</p><p>She stayed there, on her knees, panting, feeling bricks close around her as she failed and the mission ended, again.</p><p>"C'mon, Shepard," Jack said, holding a hand in front of her face. "Get up."</p><p>It echoed unpleasantly in Jane's ears. <i>Get up. Get up. Get up.</i></p><p>Jane grit her teeth, grabbed Jack's hand, and let herself be pulled upright.</p><p>"Shit, all that Cerberus tech makes you <i>heavy</i>," Jack grunted. "Or maybe it's all the snacks T'soni's been feeding you."</p><p>Jane ignored the ribbing, and lifted her fists. "Let's go again."</p><p>"Okay," Jack muttered. "It's your medigel."</p>
<hr/><p>After sparring, Jack followed Jane to her quarters to shamelessly scam access to her shower. Afterward, she plopped down across from Jane on one of the couches in the cabin's living area. "So look," she said, unaware that Liara and Miranda had poked at her already in the past day. "You know there's a few billion people who need to see that you survived this shit, right?"</p><p>"I wasn't supposed to survive at all," Jane said. It was nearly a reflexive, defeatist response, and it rankled even as it dropped out of her mouth.</p><p>"I wasn't <i>supposed</i> to be defrosted by Cerberus and get a second chance, but shit happens," Jack said. "Turns out, 'unexpected' isn't always 'bad.' And hell, Shepard, I know I'm here because of you. I have a chance of being <i>happy</i> because of you." She kicked out with one leg to gently prod Jane's shoe. "The galaxy needs to know it's okay to start healing. They're out there holding their breath, waiting for someone to say there's actually a future worth living for. You're not just some soldier, you're a fucking symbol. You figuring out how to <i>live</i> after all this shit is more important than you accidentally not <i>dying</i> in all this shit."</p><p>Jane's breath fled in a rush, as everything finally stacked up: her friends saving her, her friends dying for her, her friends healing because of her.</p><p>She'd had this kind of choice before: in the slums of the blight. In boot camp. After dying in the cold of space. She thought the choice had been stripped from her with the end of the battle. It hadn't. She still needed to keep getting up.</p><p>And so, she stood. Jack eyed her, perhaps sensing a shift.</p><p>"Thanks, Jack," Jane said quietly.</p><p>Jack shrugged. "Yeah."</p><p>Jane kicked Jack's foot back. "You and Miranda, huh?"</p><p>Jack glared at her.</p><p>Jane only shrugged. "Lots of money changing hands onboard."</p><p>"Right? Joker owes me 300 credits."</p><p>Jane snorted. "Because of course you bet on yourself. But you know... I remember saying something at a party a while back. I'm not usually right about those things, so I want credit for it this time."</p><p>"Yeah, well. Fuck you and whatever," Jack grumbled, in half-hearted complaint as she hauled herself back up off the couch.</p><p>Jane grinned. It felt foreign on her face. She straightened, and felt the catch in her shoulder that had never quite healed after Cerberus. She took in a breath, smelling the familiar metallic tang of recycled Alliance air.</p><p>It was good. She was alive, she was whole, and she <i>really</i> needed to find Liara.</p>
<hr/><p>Jane rushed to Liara's quarters, and felt lighter at the very sight of her. She smiled, and approached slowly. "Hey. Can I..." She held out her hands in a gesture that implied a hug.</p><p>"Of course," Liara said, just as she was scooped up in a gentle, soft embrace. Her breath caught, and she sunk into Jane's hold gratefully. "Oh," she exhaled.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Jane was whispering. "I'm sorry for all the time I've been away from you."</p><p>"That wasn't your fault," Liara replied.</p><p>"Maybe not, but I definitely made choices that enhanced the likelihood of leaving you behind," Jane said wryly. She pulled away just far enough to look at Liara's face, that beautiful, sweet face. "I think I need to choose something else. Life. With you."</p><p>Liara's eyes were swimming with tears. "I'd like that."</p><p>Jane reached for the spot in her consciousness where Liara had taken root years ago, and Liara could sense it immediately, the tug on their bond that made them both whole, again.</p><p>Liara threw her head back, her eyes darkened.</p><p>"My love, I've <i>missed</i> you."</p>
<hr/><p>"Ma'am. Thought you'd want to see this," Traynor said, as she hurried over to the station where Miranda was watching fleet data. She keyed up a new report on her data pad and handed it over. "Search teams have found remains of Cerberus troops deep in operational tunnels on the Citadel. They were heavily implanted, heavily modified. They all turned on each other."</p><p>Miranda scrolled quickly through the report, picking up the highlights. Only one body was identifiable, because of the serial numbers on his ocular implants: Jack Harper, long suspected by galactic intelligence and the Shadow Broker as being the Illusive Man. Her hands clenched around the data pad in sheer reflex.</p><p>"They've vaporized the bodies, ma'am," Traynor concluded. "And all the... extra parts."</p><p>"Good," Miranda said, in a growl. "Dismissed."</p>
<hr/><p>It had been one hundred and twenty days since the fateful, final battle in London.</p><p>The galaxy was starting to settle down in its new reality: The Citadel parked in low Earth orbit, the dismantling of the Reaper fleet, the eventual re-emergence of political alliances and the associated negotiations.</p><p>In the meantime, Earth was starting to bloom again.</p><p>Jane walked slowly down the street in her dress blues, deliberately holding Liara's hand so that she couldn't return the myriad salutes snapped her way from the soldiers lining the road. Miranda was at her other side, and the crew of the <i>Normandy</i> followed dutifully behind.</p><p>Eventually Jane spotted the platform erected at the top of the trench. She paused at the steps that would take her up, and leaned a little closer to Liara.</p><p>She knew they were being watched, by their friends, by dozens of soldiers nearby at attention, and that they were well within range of the QEC. She gave Liara a playful look.</p><p>"So I know you already know this, but I've been reading up on Asari bondmate rituals," she murmured.</p><p>Liara hummed. "And I've been researching human marriage ceremonies," she replied, with a mildly smug expression.</p><p>Jane smiled at her for a profound moment, then ducked in to press a quick kiss to Liara's cheek. "Looks like we've got a future to plan," she murmured, before turning and stepping up to the QEC unit at the top of the platform to address... well, <i>everyone</i>.</p><p>She'd had to rally forces before. She'd had to convince scores of people to follow her into hell. That had always come easily to her.</p><p>But this speech... she knew it would be replayed and translated and broadcast across the galaxy for generations to come. At first she'd been absolutely paralyzed by the need to imbue her words with some kind of worthy inspiration. Then she remembered: it wasn't actually her story at all.</p><p>"Her name was Fadia Sinclair," Jane started. "She grew up in Vancouver, and most of her family died the day the Reapers invaded Earth. Months later, Fadia made it to London, hoping, like the rest of us, that we had a chance to win. She had no formal military training. She was an artist, until the Reapers turned us all into warriors."</p><p>Jane pointed toward the Citadel beam. "Despite that, <i>she</i> was the one who ran down this trench, and made it to the beam that took her to the Citadel. She was the one who initiated the command to open the Citadel's arms, while a handful of Alliance soldiers stayed at her side and held off Reaper forces while the Crucible docked, then broadcast its deactivation signal across the galaxy. She died, alongside those soldiers, on the Citadel, able to see her home from far above. They died for <i>us</i>."</p><p>She had to look down, to look away from the harsh light of the beam that was burning against her eyes. "I never met Fadia. I wish I had. I wish I could thank her. There are so many heroes like her, so many people without whom we would not be here today. I have my friends' names etched into my heart: Anderson. Krios. Alenko. Legion. You undoubtedly have your own. In <i>their</i> honor, we must live fully and well, celebrating the chance that we have because so many gave so much."</p><p>"I did not think I would live to see this day. I wasn't sure I should," she admitted. She took a moment to look around, to see the friends still standing with her: Miranda, Jack, EDI, Samantha, James, Steve. And through it all, from the beginning: Liara, Garrus, Joker, Ashley, Karin, and Tali. </p><p>"I am humbled," Jane concluded, as her voice buckled. She focused on Liara, and cleared her throat. "<i>So</i> humbled to be here, among so many heroes, so many friends, on the other side of what was meant to be an extinction event. We are still standing, and we will rebuild, because Fadia and countless others gave us that chance."</p><p>Below the platform, Jack swiped at a rogue tear that threatened to slip down her cheek, and didn't complain when Miranda leaned closer, taking her hand.</p><p>Jane stepped away from the QEC, rocked by the immediate, emotional cacophony of so many people chanting her name, and "Here on Earth." </p><p>At the bottom of the platform, she shrugged at Liara. "I think that went okay?" she said.</p><p>Liara laughed, and hugged her, hard.</p>
<hr/><p>The crew returned to the <i>Normandy</i>, collectively choosing to avoid the raucous celebration in the streets of London.</p><p>Onboard, the mood was quiet, but hopeful. Jane sat in the mess, letting Liara fuss over her with food and an endearing insistence on proper hydration, as the crew slowly congregated nearby.</p><p>Miranda sat across from Jane, and Jack perched on the edge of the table. Eventually everyone else arrived in pairs, and Doctor Chakwas broke out <i>a lot</i> of alcohol creatively sourced from across the orbital fleet.</p><p>"So hang on. Did you <i>really</i> propose to Liara in front of the entire galaxy?!" Joker blurted after a couple drinks.</p><p>Jane shrugged. "Depends," she said.</p><p>"On what?" Liara asked, confused.</p><p>"Whether you'd actually say yes," Jane replied, with a sly smile. "Otherwise, I was just being 'diplomatic.'"</p><p>Liara rolled her eyes, then leaned in and kissed her soundly. "Of <i>course</i> the answer is yes," she said.</p><p>"Good," Jane said, with a lazy grin, before she kissed Liara again. "I'm not a very good diplomat."</p><p>"Says the woman who single handedly arm-wrestled every spacefaring race in the entire galaxy into fighting at her side," Garrus said, tipping his drink in a salute.</p><p>"Wait, does arm-wrestling actually count?" Jane asked. "Maybe being the human councilor won't be so hard after all."</p><p>Everyone looked amused but Miranda and Liara. "So you're considering the offer?" Miranda asked, shocking the rest into silence.</p><p>Jane leaned forward, propping her elbows against the table as she nodded, not without a deferential look toward Liara. "I am. At least for a bit. Got a wedding to plan, after all."</p><p>Then she looked down, avoiding curious gazes. "A lot has happened, these past few years. Some of it I was even alive for. Think I might need a bit to heal. Turns out that's important." At that, she looked up, and nodded to Jack. "But first - I'm blowing three years of Alliance backpay on one hell of a vacation with my fiancée."</p><p>"What about the <i>Normandy</i>?" James asked.</p><p>"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't been captain of the <i>Normandy</i> for a while, now. I think her current captain is doing just fine. Especially since she accepted appointment to Special Tactics and Recon," Jane replied.</p><p>Ashley cheered, and nearly tipped half her drink out of her glass. "Hey hey! Third human Spectre!"</p><p>"Aw man," James complained. "I wanted third."</p><p>"Settle for fourth," Ashley teased. "Maybe fifth. I hear Joker's ahead of you."</p><p>"What?!" he squawked.</p><p>Joker only raised his drink.</p><p>The chatter wandered organically from there. Jane and Liara excused themselves discreetly somewhere along the way, and Miranda found herself watching Jack's profile as she traded barbs with James and Garrus, her low laugh rasping across the deck.</p><p>Miranda smiled, and silently toasted her crew, the survivors, these people that she loved.</p>
<hr/><p>Jack entered the loft on Miranda's invitation, and turned to take in the place. "We gonna get busy on Shepard's dirty laundry?" she asked. "Kinda weird, but I could get into it."</p><p>"These are my new quarters, as of an hour ago," Miranda said. "Shepard has relinquished this cabin and moved her personal effects to Doctor T'soni's quarters for the duration of her stay."</p><p>Jack blinked. "Yeah? She's really gonna do the Council thing? No shit."</p><p>"And as a Spectre, I've been granted carte blanche access to galactic Council resources, such as they are. She's asked me to take the Normandy and start checking on our galactic allies, make sure we've addressed the Omega 4 relay, and hunt down Leviathan. Again." She stepped closer, sensing Jack's apprehension. "Once that mission begins, I formally request the services of your biotic squad to remain stationed aboard the Normandy," Miranda added.</p><p>Jack shrugged, and tried to ignore her hurt. "Oh, yeah. You probably want Vega to take command of them or something, right?"</p><p>"I want you," Miranda said softly. </p><p>"You do?"</p><p>Miranda nodded. "To be clear, I will also continue to need a team of motivated, capable biotics that can help with our upcoming search and rescue efforts, but more than that: I want <i>you</i> to stay. Here, with me." She smiled sheepishly. "I'm not above incentivizing you to do so for the additional benefit of your squad."</p><p>Jack blinked. "Well shit," she blurted. She took a deep breath and looked around. "You really want me along for the long haul?"</p><p>"Yes," Miranda breathed, stepping closer, giving her an intense look.</p><p>Jack stared back at her, swallowed hard. "Okay," she said.</p><p>Miranda relaxed, and smiled at her. "Okay," she repeated. She committed a change on her omnitool. "You are, of course, welcome to your usual space below decks, but I've also authorized you to access this cabin at any time."</p><p>"Now we're moving in together?" Jack asked, with a sardonic tilt of her brow.</p><p>Miranda knew better than to answer, and sidled closer, casting Jack a sly look. "I'm not above incentivizing you to stay in this cabin, either."</p><p>Jack's nostrils flared, and she looked away, pensive. "Do you think Shepard's gonna be okay?"</p><p>"I do," Miranda replied. "And I think you had a lot to do with that."</p><p>Jack nodded, not denying as much. "Well, obviously I <i>am</i> the fucking poster child for good mental health," she said, sardonic. "But yeah. I think she's okay." She poked at the fish tank, startling a crab. "I think I might be okay, too, if I keep working on it." She dropped her eyes, suddenly shy. "You deserve that."</p><p>Miranda's face softened in that radiant way that always made Jack nervous; literally no one had ever offered her such genuine regard, so she immediately assumed it had to be a trick.</p><p>She swallowed, and let herself acknowledge that it probably <i>wasn't</i> a trick, this time. Maybe this really was just what healing looked like after an extinction event. </p><p>"I'll get my stuff," Jack declared. Her voice sounded so high in her own ears. What the fuck was <i>that</i>? Her mind was starting to race, the blood rushing in her head.</p><p>"Take your time," Miranda replied. Her expression made it clear she was talking about a lot of things, not just about sharing quarters.</p><p>"I don't need it," Jack said. Her voice sounded more normal now, right? She eyeballed the storage area under the fish tank. "Can I stash my guns in that drawer?" she asked.</p><p>"You may," Miranda replied, with a grin. "I'll requisition you some better tools for the workbench."</p><p>"Nice," Jack said. "Perks of sleeping with a Spectre - they get the good stuff."</p><p>"So I've heard," Miranda drawled.</p><p>"Not that... you know. I'm not just in it for the guns," Jack said. Shit. And now what was this inarticulate prattle spewing out of her mouth? She felt like she was unspooling, and might have been about to panic.</p><p>Miranda, as usual, knew exactly how to help. She stepped forward, and took firm hold of Jack's chin between finger and thumb. "You have your orders," she said, in a low growl. "Go and get your gear, stow it in your new cabin, then fuck your CO into her mattress."</p><p>Jack <i>almost</i> saluted. How fucking embarrassing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy N7 Day!</p><p>Also I might have accidentally made this the start of a new series. Oops.</p><p>Thanks for reading. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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